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Wedding Registry Blues

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Dear Penny:

My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and recently sent out Save-the-dates to our family and friends. His mother was a little dismayed that we had “forgotten” to register anywhere, and subsequently, forgotten to include that information in the Save-the-dates. Penny, we have no intention of registering anywhere. We have lived together for two years and think it is a little tacky to expect our guests to supply us with back-up towels and new cutting boards. How do we respond to her? Should we just give in and register? How do we express our intentions to other inquirers if we don’t? Help!

Sincerely,
Not Registering

Penny Says:

By all means, don’t register if you don’t want to. What did people do before registries? They left it up to the interest and creativity of their guests to decide what, if anything, to gift. Personally, registries baffle me. I always end up doing one, or all of the following:

• Judging the bride and groom for their choices (Who really wants six “sea foam towels” any how?)
• Laughing at the amount the expect me to spend on them
• Wondering whether or not to make that special handmade plate the bride has always requested of me, or to skip it for the 4-quart slow cooker she apparently has her heart set on

I think you are making a brave choice. You could end up with great handmade gifts, or heirlooms that some distant relative finally decides to part with because of your disinterest in spelling out exactly what you would like. Or you could end up with fourteen toasters, three sea foam towels, two bath tub radios, and one car safety kit. Who knows.

What I do know is that it is your choice. It is your wedding. And frankly, I think you are on the right track, especially if you would have a hard time filling a registry with items you really need. Besides, with the economy the way it is it may be a stretch for your guests to even participate in your day. Not demanding gifts is a great way to ensure that they can join you, and enjoy this special time with you.
As to your soon-to-be mother-in-law and your other Nosy Nancy guests, there is a simple response to your quandary:

“No, we have not registered anywhere. We didn’t want to make anyone feel like they needed to give us things we already own- or anything at all.”

 

penny b Wedding Registry Blues

 

 

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